Not long after I joined Twitter (which is now “X”) in 2010, a lot of folks were tweeting about Charlie Sheen. In early 2011, Sheen was in rehab and fired from his role on the TV show Two and a Half Men. Sheen appeared to have some type of breakdown, making claims about his “tiger blood” and about “winning.” The Internet had a field day.
While enjoying the Internet humor, I came across a Tweet that changed my perspective. I don’t recall who sent it, but the person basically said in a kind way, “I understand why everyone is saying what they are saying, but it might be good to remember that Charlie Sheen is a real person with a substance abuse problem and that his family, including his dad Martin Sheen, are also real people seeing what we are saying.”
And then I understood something that should have been obvious. It was s0mething many of us lose sight of in the excitement of an Internet flurry. Famous people are real people and maybe we should not say things about people that we would not say to their face in real life.
I have tried to maintain that philosophy in my Internet presence, although I’m sure I’ve failed at various points.
Internet Comments On Toby Keith’s Death
I thought back to Charlie Sheen the morning we got the news that Toby Keith had died. I had last seen him, his once powerful figure now frail from cancer, performing “Don’t Let the Old Man In” at the 2023 People’s Choice Country Awards. After his death, I went to Twitter/X as a resource to find out more about his passing, but was surprised mainly to see a lot of hostility. And even though I sympathized with some of the criticisms on other days, I was taken aback at how harsh it was at the time of his death. It made me think of Keith and his family.
So, on the day his death was announced, Twitter was divided about Toby Keith’s legacy. Although in subsequent days the discussions about Keith were more balanced, on the day where his death was news, I found that trending more than “Toby Keith” was “Dixie Chicks” and “Kris Kristofferson.” In the initial response to Keith’s death, there seemed to be mostly Tweets indirectly and directly celebrating his death and making jokes, referencing some combination of real and made-up history about his career.
The real history was that in the wake of 9/11, after Toby Keith released the song “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American),” he engaged in some back-and-forth with the Dixie Chicks’ Natalie Maines, who had criticized President Bush and the Iraq War. The feud started when Maines also criticized Keith’s song as “ignorant” and making country music sound “ignorant.” Keith responded by criticizing Maines’s songwriting skills, and then began using a doctored photo of her with Saddam Hussein on his tour. Maines then wore a t-shirt at an awards show with the letters, “F.U.T.K.” thought by many to be a message of “F You Toby Keith.”
But made-up history on Twitter also added to Keith’s transgressions, including claims that he had threated Natalie Maines (confusing the real horrible fact that she had actually been threatened by music fans for her statements). And it also ignored that later Toby Keith regretted the whole feud.
The made-up history also included a lot of references to a Rolling Stone essay by actor Ethan Hawke, who had claimed that at an event celebrating Willie Nelson’s birthday he heard Toby Keith warn Kris Kristofferson not to say any “lefty shit.” And then Kristofferson responded by dressing down and humiliating Keith, who had not served in the military as Kristofferson had. Keith angrily disputed the story at the time. And even though most involved (except Hawke) questioned Hawke’s account, it again became a major story again in light of Keith’s death. (Personally, I think what is most likely is that if there were any truth to the tale, Keith most likely said something in jest and Kristofferson responded in jest too. Or maybe there was some alcohol involved.)
Now, before you think I’m a Toby Keith apologist, I should reveal that from the start I’ve always been Team Dixie Chicks (now Chicks). And I love the music and respectd the life of Kris Kristofferson, a legend. I also never liked the endorsement of violence and boots-in-asses in Keith’s song “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” as well as to a lesser extent his duet with Willie Nelson on “Beer for My Horses” (“Take all the rope in Texas, find a tall oak tree, / Round up all of them bad boys, hang them high in the street”).
But, even though I bought Dixie Chicks albums and never owned a Toby Keith album, I do think Keith was a talented songwriter and singer from the hits I’ve heard. Many of his hits songs expressed a delightful sense of humor. And while like many others, I have my problems with the message of “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue,” I also recognize that it captured a feeling among many in America after the humiliation and tragedy of 9/11. Along those lines, it is helpful to know that Keith initially did not intend to release the song but only use it in concert. And he had written the song with the subtitle “Angry American” reflecting it was a tribute to his late father’s perspective as an old veteran.
Further complicating the anger directed at Keith is that Keith’s politics were always more complicated than portrayed. Yes, he supported the military and took pro-America stances. But one may imply too much from that information. He had been a registered Democrat at the time of his “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” song until 2008, later changing to be an Independent (i.e., never a Republican). And while he did perform at a pre-inauguration event for President Donald Trump, he explained it not in terms of support for Trump but in terms of helping any U.S. President who asked. He earlier had voted for Bill Clinton for president and had given a lot of praise to President Barack Obama.
But still, a lot of folks used the opportunity of Keith’s death to show how funny and cool they were by oversimplifying the history.
Willie’s Wisdom
Which all brings me to Willie Nelson. As discussed above, following Keith’s death from cancer, which must have been very difficult for both him and his family, there was the initial dueling outpouring on Twitter of the critics using his death for their jokes and others praising Keith as an “American,” including his songs and his work helping soldiers.
But in the midst of it all was a Tweet from Willie Nelson, who knew Keith, did a hit song with him, and was allegedly present during the Kristofferson encounter. Willie said simply “Rest in Peace Toby” and “I’ve had a lot of fun singing with Toby. He’s one of us…”
And that said it all for me, “He’s one of us.”
One may read it as Willie merely saying Toby Keith was a fellow singer or fellow country musician. But I think his point was broader than that. Toby Keith was human, just like us. And like us, he made mistakes, regretted some of his mistakes, lived his life, and had loved ones.
And like all of us humans do eventually, often with some suffering, he died.
And because we all struggle through this life with our own ups and downs and challenges, maybe we should try to avoid delighting in the pain of others, whether it be death or drug addiction and talking about “tiger blood.” Maybe we should err on the side of trying to understand others.
It is a difficult message these days as we face a country that is very divided politically. But Willie has been around a long time, and maybe we should give some weight to his advice. He is not the first one to say such a thing, but he gave us a timely reminder of what we used to call the Golden Rule.
Many moons I have lived;
My body’s weathered and worn;
Ask yourself how would you be,
If you didn’t know the day you were born.Try to love on your wife;
“Don’t Let the Old Man In,” Toby Keith.
And stay close to your friends;
Toast each sundown with wine;
Don’t let the old man in.
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